Yesterday morning I turned on the TV to watch some great mid-morning talk shows and I found Montel! I love Montel. I was hoping he would have Sylvia Brown on (you know, the psychic?). She'll tell you straight up in her raspy smoker's voice that she doesn't see your sweet old grandma, but someone with an "A" name is trying to communicate. You run down the list of people with A names and realize Allejandro, your brother's general contractor who died 3 years ago is trying to tell you he's okay. And we were so worried. But what about grandma!?!
Anyway, Montel is talking to a pudgy little boy about eating his vegetables. The little boy is grumpy and says he doesn't like vegetables. Montel says "well, what if I make you a great tasting drink with vegetables so that you won't even know you're eating them?" And the little boy brightens up, shrugs his shoulders and says "okay." Isn't that just like Montel? Always making people feel better. He can even work his magic on the teenage girl who doesn't know who the baby's daddy is. She may be in for a long, hard life, but Montel is going to hug you and make it all better. At least until Judge Judy comes on. He's just cool like that.
But then, they stand up from their cushy chairs and walk over to a kitchen and Montel starts using a blender! A BLENDER! And he's talking about how great it is and all the neat features it has. And suddenly I realize: it's not Montel's talk show, it's Montel SELLING BLENDERS!!
Oh the humanity! What has happened to you Montel?