Monday, October 12, 2009

Uromysitisis

Bladder Update: I'm at work and I've had a lot of water to drink and I really have to go to the bathroom but there is this big spider/mosquito thing on the ceiling. I saw it this morning. It's right over the door. It has the legs and wings of a mosquito and the body (and probably soul) of a spider. It's the worst when they are on the ceiling, too. They can drop down on you any second. When I first went in there this morning I debated whether I should chance it and walk out or if I should wait it out until the thing dies of natural causes (or attacks me in a bloody final battle). After spending way too long in the bathroom I took a chance and dashed out. I escaped...barely. But now what to do? I have an hour and a half until I leave - can I hold it for that long? If I don't go, will I get uromysitisis?



Update Update: It's been an hour. I go to Mike's desk to talk to him.

Me: Have you read my blob yet?

Mike: No, I've been busy.

Me: It is very important that you read it.

Mike: Okay, I will. I just need to finish this.

Me: Um...I kind of need you to read it now.

Mike: Fine. I will stop processing this hugely complicated order (or whatever it is we do) just to read your blob.

Me: Thank you.

Minutes later I hear a loud sigh and Mike gets up from his desk and walks to the bathroom. I then hear a little tap of his shoe against the ceiling. He comes back to my desk.

Mike: There. Now you can't get uromysitisis and blame me.

So I dash in there and of course I don't double check before I go in because, well, I trust my husband, and as I'm washing my hands I look up and IT'S GUTS ARE DANGLING FROM THE CEILING. Seriously. Just dangling over the doorway waiting to drop on me. And everyone knows that once you get the scent of the creature, all it's buddies will come looking for you to exact revenge for killing one of their own. Great. Once again I am faced with the decision to permanently move in to the office bathroom or tempt fate a second time. You know, Stephanie Tanner moved into the family bathroom on an episode of Full House once. It didn't look so bad. But then again she grew up to be a drug addict.

So I chanced it...again...

I think I made it out unharmed. I walked up to Mike's desk with my hands on my hips and you know what he did? He laughed. Oh he's so funny. So I rubbed my head on his shirt to spread the scent on him. If I go down, he's going down with me.

2 comments:

  1. You may need to build a sluice from your office to the bathroom plumbing!

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